


Paradiso

by okapifeathers (giratinas)



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Compliant, Depression, F/F, Post-Graduation, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 05:38:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10870224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giratinas/pseuds/okapifeathers
Summary: In the summer before her third semester, Maki Nishikino learns about growing up and moving on.Part Two of Love Novels.





	1. The Sleeping Sun

**Author's Note:**

> here we go again.
> 
> Saitei de Saikou no Paradiso is my favourite song in the entire franchise. go check it out if you haven't yet. also shout out to my editor @I8Pages on twitter for getting shit done. he jumped on after chapter 13 of Love novels and will hopefully be editing both of my in-progress stories until the end.

Summer reminds Maki of vacation houses, comfortable air conditioning, and crystal clear waters on the shores of Okinawa. Family vacations of the past had essentially amounted to little more than lounging around on the beach by herself, reading a book or a magazine, and getting sunburns on her legs as they stuck out of the umbrella shade. Typically the same year after year, adventures with her parents to the tropics of Japan had turned into little more than a formality, and so naturally Maki wished for even the smallest hint of change when it came to the hotter, less bearable months of the year.

Change, as it so happened, came in the form of hot-headed Nico Yazawa, currently preoccupied with yelling at Rin about how to properly lift things that are heavier than one’s own person.

“Bend your knees, don’t just lift with your arms! You’re gonna ruin your posture.”

“Kayo-chin, help!”

Maki is content to just watch from the railing outside their apartment, protected from the harsh rays by the overhang of the floor above. Dressed in nothing but a tank top and shorts, she can still feel a few stray drops of sweat roll down her back, and so is inclined to simply observe for as long as possible. It’s move-in day for Hanayo and Rin, and their new apartment is on the top floor of the building - the fifth floor. 

There is, in fact, no elevator.

“Hanayo, help me carry the table. Also, why did you bring a couch? I don’t have a couch for a reason!”

“Sorry, Nico-chan… I’m sure we can all manage if we lift it together, right?”

Maki laughs to herself as she eyes the boxes stacked on the pavement below, plenty of which contain nothing but idol memorabilia belonging to Hanayo - and squints a little in the sunlight. Not a cloud in the sky… perfect weather to move all of one’s possessions across Kanda. 

Hanayo and Nico walk awkwardly past the floor Maki is standing on using the outside stairwell, twisting and turning the table to fit it around corners and lift it over the railings. She’s glad she never had to bring anything as cumbersome as furniture with her when she officially moved - not that anything she owned would fit in the apartment she shared with Nico. Truly, it would have been a lost cause.

She wonders, as she’s done before, where she might be right now without the temperamental girl. Certainly not watching two of her closest friends move in just above her. She wouldn’t have had to learn how to cook for herself (Nico still insists that Maki can’t actually cook anything edible, but that’s what Nico is there for, after all), or fold laundry, or go grocery shopping with a pocketful of coupons she doesn’t even need. She might even have had a bed she could properly fit in, where her feet didn’t poke out of the ends of the covers if she wasn’t bending her knees just so. Her body was welcome to stop growing any time now, please and thank you.

Of course, not having Nico meant that she also could have avoided unnecessary… drama, that unfolded specifically around her family. That was still eggshell territory, and Maki was keeping well away from it for the time being. So much of her life could have been different had she kept to her stubborn self, and yet now here she was, sleeping beneath a Midnight Cats poster every night and getting dragged by Nico every time she spent more than ninety-eight yen on a carton of eggs.

Was Nico worth it?

“Maki-chan!” Nico calls up to her. “Are you just gonna watch us or are you gonna come help? You need the exercise anyway, flabby-arms.”

She definitely was.

Flexing her toes against the cool walkway, Maki’s smile drops and she considers turning around to walk back through her door, propped open by an umbrella bucket. She hadn’t even noticed Nico and Hanayo walk back down the stairs.

“Are you calling me lazy?”

Nico groans as she picks through the boxes alongside Hanayo. “ _ Yes _ . You’re just watching us suffer! Help Rin with the couch. If you can carry me you can carry that!”

Maki glances at Rin, who is looking sadly at the couch she clearly regretted owning at the moment. Nico may be right and she isn’t as fit as she used to be, but being thoroughly engrossed in one’s education does that to a student. If Honoka were here right now, telling her to get on the floor and do thirty push-ups while smiling, would she be able to do it? Fifteen-year-old athletic and punctual Maki had grown up into a Maki that cursed even the idea of getting out of bed before ten in the morning, at the very earliest.

But she could probably handle sharing the weight of a couch with Rin.

Maki stretches and sighs before making her way down the stairs. Nico shouts at her again from the pile of boxes, before she’s even all the way down. 

“Hey, go put shoes on! The ground is hot and if you drop the couch and break your foot I’m not helping you.”

“Break my…? Whatever.” Maki mumbles to herself before jogging back up the stairs to grab slippers. Good enough. She passes Hanayo, who is coming up the stairs with a shiny new microwave oven.

“I’m sorry Nico-chan is being so annoying,” she says to her, “I can put her in time out if you want.”

“I can  _ hear _ you!”

Hanayo smiles and shakes her head. “Oh no, it’s fine! We’re just thankful you had the time to help us today. Four is much better than two. I’m getting a little hungry though…”

“It’s almost two in the afternoon. Did you skip lunch?” Maki asks.

Hanayo shakes her head again. “No, Rin-chan and I ate an hour ago…”

“Oh. Well… I’m making dinner tonight, so if you can hold out until then you’re welcome to come over.”

Hanayo gives her a look that could curdle milk. “Y-you’re making dinner? With Nico-chan’s help, right?”

Maki crosses her arms, a little annoyed at the assumption that she needs Nico to do absolutely everything for her. She’s an adult; she can do things on her own. Sure, cooking had always been a bit of a bump in the road for her, but she could totally do it now. 

“By myself. Why are you looking at me like that?”

Hanayo just blinks at her, bewildered. “I’m not. I mean, sure, maybe. I’ll see what Rin-chan thinks? I’ll make sure she know that, um… that you offered. And that Nico-chan isn’t helping. I’ll just take this upstairs now.” She turns and continues on her way.

“Maki-chan, how many years is it gonna take you to come down the stairs?! Come help Rin!”

“Nyaaa I can’t do it by myself!”

Maki rolls her eyes, even though she knows nobody can see her. “Shut up, Nico-chan. I’m coming.”

When she finally gets to the ground level and steps out into the sun, she’s momentarily blinded by the light reflecting off the hood of a luxury car parked next to the building. She pauses for a moment to look at her over-the-top birthday gift. 

The apartment complex only has two spaces to reserve for parking cars, and one of them is currently occupied by Maki’s pricey, undrivable, immaculate ride. In the other spot next to hers is a well-used ( _ very _ well-used) plain white car that looks like it’s from the early nineties; the kind of car a paycheque-to-paycheque person might have. Sandwiched between the ancient white vehicle and the old sandy-coloured apartment building, Maki’s birthday present looks exactly as stupid as Nico said it would. It would be kind of a waste if neither one of them ever learned to drive it.

Maki turns her attention back to the task at hand, offering to take most of the weight at the back while Rin walks backwards up the stairs. Nico eyes them carefully while cradling a box full of glass dishware, visibly flinching when Maki has to lock her knees to stop the couch from sliding backwards as Rin goes up the stairs too quickly.

The endeavor is precarious for a while until they find a reasonable pace, and Maki is proud of herself for not being so completely out of shape that she can’t lift some furniture. The feeling dissipates just as quickly as it developed as they get stuck trying to go around the first corner of the stairwell.

In the end, it takes all four of them almost an hour to get the couch up to the top floor and into the living room, and only thirty seconds for Rin to decide she wants to hire someone else to move the bed for them. Maki stands sheepishly in the doorway, wiping sweat from her forehead and wishing that she really was on a beach in Okinawa instead. 

Nico collapses face-first onto the couch while Rin and Hanayo lean against each other on the floor, surrounded by unpacked boxes.

“I think I’d rather do this in the rain,” Nico mutters into the cushions, “at least then I wouldn’t be literally dying of heat stroke.”

“Heat stroke only happens when your body temperature hits forty degrees or higher. You’re just sweaty.” Maki informs her.

Nico rolls over, shirt riding up a little. “Yes,  _ Dr. Nishikino _ , thanks for your super helpful observation. You look just as shitty as I feel, by the way.”

Maki huffs and pouts, but Nico is probably right.

“Rin wants to die. Kayo-chin, where’s the fan?”

Hanayo glances around the room before weakly pointing at a box in the kitchen. Rin is up in a flash, nearly ripping the box in two in her race to plug in the appliance and bask in its gentle breeze. Hanayo slumps to the floor and Nico weakly rolls off the couch, falling face-first to the ground. Nobody wants to go back outside.

“So what’s left to bring up?” Maki asks, because  _ someone _ has to keep the ball rolling.

Rin doesn’t answer, thoroughly enraptured with the fan. Hanayo sits up and taps her chin. “Oh, I think just the rest of my idol collection. We got most of it up already.”

Maki sighs. “You know it’s all just sitting out there in the heat, right? Isn’t there something about sun damage? Nico-chan complains about it every time I open the curtains.”

Both Nico and Hanayo shoot up from the floor, sparing only a second to glance at each other before racing out the door, magically undeterred by the uncomfortable weather.

Maki wonders if they’d notice if she never came back down.

 

\---

 

After finally carrying the last box upstairs, Maki finds herself back in her own apartment after calling in an order for a new air conditioner. Nico had suffered through her summers on a tight budget and had adamantly insisted they could get by fine without one, but Maki just told her she was being ridiculous and whipped out her credit card.

“You’re the one complaining that you’re going to die,” Maki told her, “I’m doing this less for you and more for my sanity.”

Nico had just laid down on the floor to mope while the people Maki called came and installed the air conditioner in their bedroom window. The door to said room was now propped open, and the inside of their apartment was no longer a metaphorical oven.

“The cicadas aren’t even out! It’s not real summer yet, why is it so hooooot?” Nico whines from the floor.

Maki watches her from the kitchen table. “Don’t ask me. What do cicadas have to do with it anyway?”

Nico sits up and crosses her legs. “You’ve never been cicada hunting? It’s like the number one thing I think of whenever I think about the summertime.”

Imagining the oversized bugs and their annoying, shrill cries does little more for Maki than make her cringe. “No. Why would I want to do that?”

Nico shrugs. “It’s just a thing you do. I used to take the kids out to do it, not around Akiba though. We went to a park or something. You get a big long net and try to catch a bunch of them, and then you let them all go. Cotarou… always just uses his hands though. He’s weird.”

“Is this a normal thing? Going out to catch bugs?”

“Sure, plenty of people were out there with us in the grass. I guess it’s not a thing rich people do.”

Maki is about to snap at her, but Nico holds up her hand. “Calm down, princess Nishikino. I don’t mean it in a bad way and you know it. Maybe we can take the kids out to do it and you can see. Cotarou and Cocoa still care about that kind of thing.”

Going  _ after _ those ugly, nails-on-a-chalkboard-sounding bugs? Like, actively going towards them? “I don’t really have any interest in chasing after small annoying insects.”

Nico glares at her, eyes narrowing. “I feel like you were going to say something offensive after that.”

Maki can only wink. “I already live with one, after all.”

Nico groans and falls back again until she’s lying on the floor, and Maki busies herself with making some tea to put in the fridge for later. She’s reminded time and time again of the one occasion she’d mixed up the salt and sugar (it’s not her fault that they look the same) and the tea had tasted like a mix of leaves and the ocean; Nico had spit it out all over the table and didn’t even waste her breath chastising Maki for her mistake. The next day the sugar had been replaced with a brown-coloured alternative. It didn’t taste the same, but at least it wasn’t salt.

“Hey, Maki-chan,” Nico prods, “have you ever thought of moving?”

Maki looks down at her over the counter as she flicks the kettle on. “What? But Rin and Hanayo just moved in… you want to move out?”

“No, no. I was just wondering if you’ve thought about it. This place isn’t really optimal for two people, is it? And you grew up in a huge house and all…”

Ah. Nico was just worried about Maki again, as she typically was during what she had dubbed “the recovery period”: The time in which Maki adjusted to normal life after her exams, despite the lingering mystery that was her familial situation.

“I’m fine, Nico-chan. I like it here.”

And truly, she did. It was cramped at times, and they couldn’t invite too many friends over at once, but it was better than good enough for her. There was something charming about how incredibly normal her life felt now, if she were to only really look at the positives. She felt like she had missed out, even when Nico was talking about bug-catching of all things, having been raised less by a family and more by money funneled into a lineup of caretakers that no normal child would ever have.

It made Nico seem so smart, in comparison. Not book-smart, but rather life-smart - someone who understood reality for what it was when it came to living her life without the comfort of knowing she would eventually inherit a small fortune. Of course, even when Maki had insisted that the burden (Nico’s words, not hers) of being rich could now be split between the two of them, Nico had insisted that Maki not even tell her how much money she had. Nico didn’t want to know, and she didn’t want to be a part of it.

That was still a confusing and tender topic whenever it came up; Maki didn’t understand why Nico wouldn’t accept that her life didn’t have to be one of yen pinching anymore, and that she could probably quit her job and be set for life, worry free. That was assuming they stayed together of course, but Maki couldn’t envision a scenario in which they’d ever split up. Perhaps that was Nico’s realistic perspective kicking in. They didn’t truly know if they would be together forever, and Maki knows she still gets embarrassed when she thinks of the implications behind that notion.

Regardless, there’s no need to move and Maki feels perfectly comfortable where she is now, pouring water over the tea bags in the pitcher and sticking it in the fridge, and watching Nico roll around on the floor.

“Do you still want to try cooking dinner tonight?” Nico asks her, still sprawled out.

Maki nods and takes a seat at the table. “I invited Rin and Hanayo over too. Hanayo seemed worried though…”

Nico sits up, heels digging into the floor. “You  _ what _ ? You invited them? Both of them?” 

Setting her hands calmly in her lap, Maki raises an eyebrow. “Yes? Because that’s what friends do? Unless you wanted it to be romantic or whatever…”

“N-no, I mean, romantic would be great! But, um, Nico should make it if we do that, you know? Just in case?” Nico splutters out, eyes frantically darting back and forth.

“In case what? I don’t understand.”

Nico puts her head in her hands for a brief moment before looking back up at Maki. “N-never mind. Nico is sure everything will be fine and Maki will make a nice home-cooked meal to share with her friends. She just has to go tell Hanayo something she forgot about, silly Nico.”

She stands up and nervously backs herself towards the door, pigtails swishing side to side.

“Nico-chan? Are you okay?”

Nico twists the door handle with one hand and holds her other one up in her signature pose. “Everything is fine! Just have to warn them! N-nico-nico-nii!”

Maki’s lips press into a thin line and she considers locking the door behind her.

 

\---

 

When Maki inevitably burns an entire salmon steak into a finely charred crisp, Rin happily reveals that she’s already ordered two pizzas because she forgot she’d been invited to dinner already. It definitely had nothing to do with Nico, who had slunk back in through the front door looking all too pleased with herself.

Maki spends most of the meal trying her best to look like she’d been kicked directly in the shins, insisting that she knew what she was doing this time and just set the kitchen timer wrong. Besides, it was totally Nico’s fault for not pointing out the obvious burning smell emanating from the oven. There was no way she couldn’t smell it from the bedroom, therefore the ruined fish had nothing to do with Maki and her ability to cook. Really though, she was just disappointed in herself for not being able to impress Nico.

At least her salad came out okay, and it definitely consisted of more than just a handful of cherry tomatoes. Pizza and salad isn’t a terrible combination, is it?

Together, the four of them sit around the kotatsu and revel in the cool air provided by the brand new air conditioner.

“Rin is coming over every day this summer, nyaaaaaa…” 

“Please don’t.” 

“Wow, way to be a rude neighbor, Maki-chan,” Nico tuts. “You’re the one who suggested they move out here. Besides, Rin owes me  _ so _ many favors from high school. We should really catch up on those, don’t you think?”

Hanayo looks between them, just as mystified as Maki.

Rin’s eye widen. “Rin is going to stay inside all summer. Kayo-chin, you’ll take care of me right?”

“U-um, of course, I guess?”

Maki thinks for a moment before smacking Nico’s arm.

“Ow, what the hell?!”

Maki only glares. “Are you blackmailing Rin already? They haven’t even been here for one day!”

Nico pushes forward into Maki’s space, her face only inches from Maki’s.

“No, that’s ridiculous! Nico is innocent.”

“Are those Honoka-chan’s A-RISE Blu-rays…?” Hanayo asks quietly, pointing to the shelf below the TV.

“ _ Innocent _ , I tell you,” Nico continues. “So cruel, bullying Nico like this.”

Nico chooses to avoid further conversation by standing up and taking the empty pizza boxes into the kitchen. Maki just shakes her head, and decides to chat with Hanayo about applying for the fall semester. At least someone else is around to listen to her and not try to convince her to drop her courses at any opportune moment, though admittedly Nico hadn’t been on her back about that in a while. Rin, relieved of Nico’s mischievous gaze, lounges around in a cat-like manner while Nico does her best to scrape the remains of the fish Maki attempted to cook from the bottom of a ceramic dish. 

The air outside remains warm even well into the evening - not a breeze to be felt. Maki can feel it on her skin as she shows Rin and Hanayo out, wishing them luck with unpacking and insisting that they tell her if they need anything. 

“Except if we need food,” Rin says, “then we should call the fire department first, nya.”

Maki shuts the door in her face.

Later, Maki finds herself sitting cross-legged on the bed hugging a pillow while Nico finishes up in the washroom. Despite the agony of carrying a couch up five flights of stairs in the sun and the fate of her attempted meal, the day was all around quite satisfying. Having her two closest friends around (after Nico, of course) reminded her of the months after the third-years had graduated, when they decided that time together was more important than anything else.

Somewhere along the line, Maki had lost sight of that particular sentiment. It’ll be nice to reconnect beyond meeting for dinner once every three months, or when she’s in the middle of a personal crisis. 

On that note, she hadn’t been in touch with her parents much outside of checking in with her mother a few times via text. At most, conversations amounted to asking how she was doing, and getting a positive, very mom-like response back. It was enough for now.

Nico walks in, hair down and teeth freshly brushed, wearing the tiny shorts Maki refuses to admit she likes and a white tank top. 

“It’s too hot for clothes,” Maki blurts out, momentarily forgetting about the air conditioner she had only just paid for. Very smooth.

Nico gives her a sly look and sits down next to her. “How sad that Maki still can’t just say what she wants. Nico won’t stop you, if you want to take them off yourself.”

“Ughh,” Maki groans, mostly at herself. “It just came out wrong.”

“Whatever you say.” Nico hums, turning to lie down. “I’m too tired for that anyway,” she says seriously. “Promise me you’ll never ask me to carry a couch up stairs. I’d rather keep my back intact.”

“Never.” Maki swears as she lies down next to Nico. They settle for a light sheet for now, instead of a full blanket.

“What are you going to do this summer?” Maki asks as she wraps her arm around Nico’s waist.

Nico looks thoughtful for a moment. “Probably the same thing I always do. It’s not a break for me like it is for you.”

“Oh, I guess you’re right. Is there anything you used to do when you lived with your family? Did you ever go on vacation?”

Nico laughs quietly. “Of course not. Like, about vacations I mean. No money for that kind of thing. We would just hang around, go to the park, eat watermelon. All that stereotypical stuff.”

“Sounds humble.”

“Sure, you could call it that.”

Maki pulls at the hem of Nico’s top. “Is there anything you want to do?”

Nico smiles. “Lots of things. I’m very ambitious. But this summer? I think I’m fine with this, exactly how we are now. Especially since you’re actually around.”

“So you just want to hang out with me?” Maki smiles back. “I can live with that.”

Nico snuggles closer, resting her forehead on Maki’s shoulder. It’s probably too warm to sleep very close together and they’ll be gross and sticky in the morning unless they leave the air conditioning on all night, but then they might get too cold. Maki doesn’t feel like moving anyway, so she’ll just live with the consequences.

“So, Maki-chan,” Nico says sleepily, “you know what I want to do this summer.”

Nico moves back a little, tilting her head until Maki is looking into her eyes.

“But what do  _ you _ want to do?”


	2. Follow You Down

The day after helping her friends move, Maki wanders listlessly around the apartment while Nico is at work. She’s pretty sure she’s checked the sink for dirty dishes at least four times by now, the bedroom is already clean and there isn’t a speck of dirt in the living room. She has no homework, nowhere to be, and nothing to do. The thought of doing nothing only serves to drag her down even more into her boredom.

The first thing she’d done after breakfast was call up Hanayo and ask if she and Rin needed another pair of hands today to help with the unpacking, but Hanayo had politely declined the offer. Rin had (not as politely) shouted something about Maki being too clumsy on the other end of the line, and so Maki had hung up on them and declared the conversation a lost cause. 

She also didn’t particularly feel like going outside to do anything; it was still too hot and it was nice and cool inside, with cold tea in the fridge. She pats herself on the back for that one; past Maki is finally looking out for future Maki. But there’s still nothing going on at home, and her two friends that live within comfortable walking distance are otherwise preoccupied for what she assumes is the entire day.

And then she remembers Eli has permanently moved back home recently, and it’s been a while since they’ve had any one-on-one time. Usually Nico and Nozomi are there with them too, and all Nozomi does is rile her up by simply smiling in Nico’s general direction. Maki had thought the tension between them had finally died down, but Nico told her that old habits die hard and trying to figure Nozomi out is even harder. It was funny to Eli, but to Maki it just made her feel like she was dating a little kid with no concept of humility.

A quick text later, Maki learns that Eli and Umi are actually already out and about at Yoyogi Park. Maki reluctantly agrees to go out, but not before spreading sunblock on every square inch of skin not covered by her sundress. 

Maki hasn’t been to Yoyogi (or any park, for that matter) in a long while, and it takes her some wandering around before she spots Eli’s bright blonde ponytail from across the river. She and Umi are sitting on a blanket beneath the shade of a tree near the water, empty bento boxes on either side of them. 

Eli spots her as she’s walking over, offering a lazy wave and shuffling over on the blanket. 

“It’s good to see you, Maki.” Umi says as Maki takes a seat next to her.

“It’s good to see both of you. I was starting to think I’d be stuck at home by myself all day.”

Eli gives her a lopsided grin. “Don’t you usually prefer that?”

Maki spares a glance at the shimmering pond, lined by green grass and lush trees. The air is fresh, and only a cloud or two floats slowly across the wide blue expanse above her. 

“It’s a nice day today. May as well make the most of it.”

Umi nods in understanding beside her. “So you mean Nico’s at work and you had nothing else to do?”

Maki scoots forward and lies down in the shade, next to Eli. 

“It sounds sad when you put it that way.”

“Didn’t our resident rice fanatic and her cat just move into your building?” Eli asks.

“Just yesterday. They didn’t want my help with unpacking. What are you both doing out here, anyway?

Umi leans back against the tree, looking out over the water. “Can’t we just enjoy a nice lunch in the park?”

“The same reason you are,” Eli affirms, “busy significant others. Non-tan got a call back for a job interview with some news outlet, so hopefully she can finally break out of the freelance rut.”

Maki hadn’t really been keeping up with her friends’ careers as of late, and sometimes she forgot what Nozomi even did for a living. Or most of her friends, for that matter. 

She angles herself a bit to peer at Umi.

“And what about you? Did Kotori find work already?”

Umi sighs and brushes her loose hair behind her ear. “Not exactly. Her cousin is getting married and commissioned a wedding dress from her. She’s never made a real one like that before so she’s been completely absorbed in it lately. She wants it to be perfect.”

“And so here we are,” Eli raises her arms, spreading them wide, “nothing else to do but do nothing, together.”

Maki looks back up at the leaves above her. “I was starting to think I was the only one of us without a job or something. Even Hanayo works part time at a restaurant, but I think she only does it because she gets to eat for free.”

Umi smirks. “Sounds like Honoka. She’s never going to leave that bakery.”

“I can’t imagine her doing anything else. She’d probably be happy pounding mochi for the rest of her life,” Eli says. “I am looking for a job though, so you might be the odd one out soon enough, Maki.”

“Not that you need to work anyway,” Umi adds, “I’ve heard medical studies are particularly demanding. I’m sure you don’t have time for anything else.”

“Not really, during the school year at least,” Maki confirms. “It’s not ideal but I’ll work through it. And I’ll try not to ignore everyone…”

“That’s not really your fault though. You were having a tough time. That reminds me, did your parents ever find out about you and Nico?”

Maki’s expression turns sour and she carefully looks away from her friends. There’s no easy way to talk about what happened, so Maki poorly deflects the question instead.

“It’s a thing that happened. Umi, what about you?”

“Huh? What about me?”

Maki focuses on some children playing in the distance, reluctant to explain herself any further than that.

“What have you been up to?”

“Oh, nothing different I suppose. It’s just… well, you know I’m taking online courses and working at the dojo, right?”

Maki hadn’t actually known, and it made her feel bad. Did Nico know? Did everyone know what everyone else was up to except her?

“Remind me what you’re studying again?” Eli steps in, saving Maki from any potential embarrassment.

“Business. The dojo will be my responsibility eventually, so it’s up to me to be prepared. My family is depending on me so I want to do my best.” Umi explains with conviction. 

Something about what she says twists Maki’s insides into a knot. Umi does everything with determination. Even if it takes a little bit of talking to get her into a short skirt, she eventually gives it her all and keeps everyone else in line at the same time. Taking over her family’s dojo seems fitting, and nothing in her voice wavers when she talks about it. Maki wishes she could be more like Umi.

“Right, so what’s the issue?” Eli continues.

Maki finally turns back over to glance at Umi, who is still leaning back against the tree.

“Well,” Umi goes on, “between the dojo, my classes, Kotori’s classes, and her work, we hardly see each other nowadays. My parents suggest we consider moving out together.”

At the mention of Umi’s parents, the thought crosses Maki’s mind that maybe she should have a word with Umi about her relationship with Kotori. Maki knew very little about the Sonodas, but she was aware that they were cookie-cutter traditional and encouraged Umi to follow suit. How Umi managed to convince them to accept Kotori as her partner of choice is yet another mystery on Maki’s growing list. Now isn’t the time though.

“You don’t sound so sure about it. Seems like a good solution, though.” Eli observes.

“I’d like to say I suggest looking at my building, but I really don’t. Between Rin and Nico-chan I don’t think you’d survive living there.” Maki mutters, though her smile betrays her words.

“You seem to be doing just fine.” Eli points out. 

“I have years of experience dealing with a girl who has an ego the size of a small planet. Just as stubborn, too.” Maki notes.

“Maybe you and Nico cancel each other out. Is that how that works?” Eli ponders, squinting as the sun peeks through the leaves for a quick moment.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Maki replies, a little bitter.

Umi laughs at her. “That sounds about right. Really though, it’s just a big step for me. Everyone goes at their own pace, we certainly aren’t as eager as you and Nozomi.” She nods at Eli.

“It was only natural for us. Of course, then I moved away for school and she had to make do without me. Her parents still pay for the apartment though.”

“Have you met Nozomi’s parents?” Maki asks, before she can stop herself. It’s the perfect way to steer the conversation back in the direction she had only just tried to avoid.

Eli grins. “Yeah, they’re great. I only got to meet them once but they call to check in on us from time to time. It’s a big help that they’re still paying for the apartment. I can focus on paying off my loans instead of worrying about rent.”

“Loans?” Maki says dumbly, realizing what Eli means a second after she says it.

“My scholarships didn’t cover everything, and now I’m back in Japan at square one. It’s not as bad as it sounds, I’ll just need to work for a while. I think I’ll try paying that off before I get into anything else.”

“U-um, well if you need help, I could-”

Eli whips her finger up to quiet Maki. “Don’t even think about it. You have enough to deal with, you don’t need me asking for handouts. It’s no problem, really!”

Maki bites her lip nervously. Eli’s just like Nico, then; they don’t want Maki’s help, for reasons she doesn’t understand. What’s the point of having money if she can’t do some good with it? 

“Nico-chan doesn’t want my help either. She prefers working instead.” Maki grumbles, more to herself than to her company.

Eli and Umi trade looks. “Nico has always been the type to want to do everything on her own. You should know that better than any of us.”

“But in high school she always talked about having all these things - a chauffeur, a waterfront apartment, a bunch of idol merchandise, whatever. I can do that for her but she won’t even listen when I ask her about it. She still buys food that’s about to expire from the discount rack at the grocery store.”

“Nico’s usually pretty set in her ways. Have you talked to her about  _ why _ she doesn’t want that kind of help?” Eli asks her plainly.

“No.” Maki mumbles. 

“Don’t you think you should do that instead of worrying about it? It’s better to know the real answer than to mope about it.” Umi suggests.

Umi is right of course, and Maki knows it. The knot comes back when Umi mentions having answers, because every little thing has the potential to draw Maki’s mind back into the shell she’d only just broken free of. She didn’t want to think about her family, or about having answers to anything, because answers twist her stomach and make her dread waking up in the morning. An always looming threat of regression lurked wherever resolution lay. 

She knows more than anything that she should probably talk to someone about what happened between her and her father, but she can never find the words. She’d rather just pretend that everything is fine, and that there’s no turmoil going on in the back of her mind to speak of. All she wants is to have a happy, safe summer with her friends and Nico before she has to go back to school. 

“Registration is soon. For fall classes.” Maki says awkwardly.

Eli just looks confused, lost by the sudden change in topic. 

Umi doesn’t seem much better off. “Are you… is everything okay, Maki?”

“Did you have a fight with Nico or something?” Eli asks helpfully.

“No! No,” Maki responds, a little too loudly. “We aren’t fighting. Not real fighting at least. Nico-chan and I are better than fine.”

Maki looks away again, desperate to avoid eye contact. She can feel Eli slowly sitting up next to her, and then a hand come to rest on her back.

“We know what your father used to be like, when Non-tan and I got together. Neither of us wanted to be too forward with asking about it, but… what happened, Maki? You can tell us.”

Maki sighs, defeated.

“It didn’t go well. Mama likes Nico-chan, Papa does not. I don’t know anything else.”

She wants to say more, to talk about what it felt like to sit at the table next to Nico and across from her father, to learn that Maki herself was not important enough to her own father that he could try to open his mind to the idea that his daughter wasn’t who he thought she was. She wants to ask for help about what to do next, because Nico doesn’t know either and her number one priority is to keep Maki happy, which right now means avoiding anything relating to Maki’s family. What were they supposed to do?

“Well, clearly you don’t want to talk about it,” Umi summarizes, “but even so, just know we’re here to listen. I’m just happy you came outside.”

“Right, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I’ll even tell Non-tan not to bring it up, I know how she can be sometimes.” Eli adds sympathetically.

Maki breathes out and sits up, trying her best to put on a smile. “I think Nico-chan’s just made me paranoid about Nozomi now. She’s rubbing off on me too much.”

“Well, she  _ can _ be pretty sly sometimes. She’s good at tricking you into saying what she wants to know. She’s still trying to get me to admit I never grew out of my fear of the dark.” Eli chuckles nervously.

“Does she still flick the lights off on you?” Maki asks her, glad to once again be rid of her apprehension.

“All the time. It drives me crazy!”

Umi nods in understanding. “Kotori is really good at embarrassing me in front of our parents. She’s so… lovey-dovey. So shameless.”

Maki imagines herself and Mrs. Yazawa giving Nico the verbal run-around. It really is good fun, when the mood is right. 

“What does she do?” Eli pipes up excitedly, likely curious about everything she’s been missing in the last year.

Umi shivers. “She… she called me  _ babe. _ Our parents were  _ right there _ , and they looked at us like we just got married! It was terrible.”

“ _ Babe _ ?” Maki repeats incredulously, “Does she always call you that?”

Umi shakes her head rapidly. “No! It’s always something different, and only in front of our parents. Honey, darling, precious, all kinds of things like that. I have a name! She could just use my name, but she doesn’t!”

Eli laughs, thoroughly entertained. “Maybe she thinks you’re cute when you’re embarrassed?”

“There’s nothing cute about being embarrassed.” Umi states firmly. 

“Don’t worry, Nico-chan says that about me too. She’s always trying to get me going.” Maki murmurs. 

“But don’t you usually win your lover's’ spats?” Eli says flatly, more of a statement than a question.

Maki ponders a moment. “I don’t know if I’d say that. You’re implying Nico-chan has a chance to begin with.”

“Rin used to keep a scoreboard.” Umi informs them.

“Seriously?” Maki blinks. Interesting.

“She did,” Umi confirms, “and I made her throw it out when I caught her adding to the tally under the table one day. I didn’t want to encourage more fights between you two if either of you found out.”

“Was I winning?” Maki finds herself suddenly interested, though she tries to sound the opposite as she asks.

“I always thought you were just flirting.” Eli surmises. “Unconventional, yet effective.”

“But was I  _ winning _ ?” Maki presses, ignoring Eli’s observation.

Umi shrugs. “I don’t remember, that was nearly three years ago. You could always ask Rin.”

Maki frowns. “I’d rather not. Nico-chan is already blackmailing her, or threatening her. I don’t really know.”

“I wonder what about?” Umi voices her curiosity.

“Who knows, with Nico-chan. It’s usually nothing important but she’s really good at intimidating Rin.”

“How long until you and Hanayo abscond?” Eli asks her seriously.

“I theorize one week.” Umi says, just as serious.

“Wow, Umi joining in on the joke? Must be my lucky day.” Maki tries her best to look impressed.

Umi picks up the bentos, putting them in a shopping bag. “I can be humorous when I want to be. There’s a time and a place for everything.”

“Very astute,” Eli nods. “You’d make a good comedian.”

“I hope you’re still joking.” 

“Such a downer, Maki.” Eli retorts.

Maki’s phone starts ringing from inside her purse, carefully set to vibrate so Nico’s voice doesn’t bother literally everyone in the immediate area any time it goes off. It would probably be easier to just change the ringtone, but Nico would  _ know _ if she did. Maki could see it now, Nico berating her for changing her dumb phone noise to anything other than Nico’s angelic, perfect, and elegant voice. Maki would describe it differently - not that Nico sounded bad - she just never utilized her lower vocal range to its full extent, and people who weren’t Maki might find the higher pitch just a tiny bit annoying. Only a little. 

Luckily, nobody she’s in disagreement with is on the other end of the line. Quite the opposite in fact, as it’s one of the rare calls she gets from Mrs. Yazawa. After a few hurried apologies, Maki is asked if she might be able to come by to watch the younger Yazawas for only a few hours. Cocoro isn’t there so it’s just the younger two, but Mrs. Yazawa is getting called back to her office and she just needs Maki to put some pre-made food in the microwave for dinner and make sure the apartment doesn’t burn down or something.

Maki is about to ask what happened to Nico’s original replacement child-minders, but then she remembers it was mostly Hanayo. Maki can definitely handle it on her own; Cotarou and Cocoa love her anyway.

She has time to hang around a little more with Umi and Eli, and they mostly use it to gossip or discuss what they’re going to do during their off time. Thankfully, nothing Maki would rather avoid comes up again, and before long she forgets how she was feeling less than an hour ago. 

Before leaving, she sends Nico a text to let her know where she’s headed, and that she might not be around when Nico gets home. Maybe next time she’ll be able to put what she really wants to say to her friends into words.

 

\---

 

The two younger Yazawa siblings are, of course, overjoyed to see who their companion for the evening is. Or at least Maki thinks Cotarou is excited; he’s still fairly quiet but he watches her closely, and Maki assumes that’s a good sign. Cocoa is quick to drag her to the couch, sit her down, and insist that they look at fashion magazines together. 

Maki had never been much into the concept of fashion, not in the same way Nico or Kotori were, but she made her best effort to seem interested as Cocoa explained that she was deliberating between becoming a fashion designer (to make outfits for current and future super idol sensation Nico Yazawa, of course) or a professional soccer player. It was an odd combination of interests that reminded her of a younger Rin, but with more of a passion for the idol industry. Or for Nico, but those two things were synonymous in the Yazawa household.

Cotarou was content to just sit with them and listen, periodically providing a few choice words as per usual. He also apparently kept an eye on the clock, because Maki had eventually zoned out a bit and nearly missed dinner time. Thankfully she could manage the microwave at least.

Mrs. Yazawa walks in the door at around eight in the evening, just after Cocoro returns from her friend’s house. The kids disperse after that, going to their rooms or finding something to watch on TV in the living room, leaving Maki to linger in the kitchen with their parent.

Maki knows she can leave whenever she wants, but it’s a good opportunity to ask some questions that she isn’t very enthusiastic about bringing up with Nico. Questions related to money, because that seemed to be the theme for the day. Someone may as well help out with the dishes, anyway.

“Can I… ask you something about Nico-chan?” 

Mrs. Yazawa hands her another plate from the soapy mess of water in the sink. 

“Of course, what’s on your mind?”

Maki stops for a moment to stack some cups and put them away in the cupboard. Where to start? Her thoughts are jumbled together into one big question that she isn’t sure Mrs. Yazawa can answer in one go. Starting small seems like the best approach.

“When do you think Nico-chan will try being an idol again?”

Mrs. Yazawa keeps her eyes trained on the task at hand, arms elbow deep in bubbles.

“Whenever she’s ready. Has she been talking about it?”

Maki shakes her head. “No, only when I ask her. She says… she says she has to focus on taking care of me first.”

“And you’re worried you’re holding her back?”

No beating around the bush. Must run in the family. “I don’t know. I guess.”

The thought had crossed her mind before, but she’d never brought it up. Really, she thought Nico would be obvious about it if she felt Maki was preventing her from moving on from her job at the cafe. She also had the option of discussing it with Nico more elaborately, but she wasn’t entirely sure what she wanted to get out of the conversation to begin with. Did she want Nico to quit and subsist on her gifted fortune while she looked for an agent? Maki wasn’t even entirely sure what the process was for becoming a solo professional idol, but she didn’t want to stop Nico from doing whatever she needed to do.

But Nico is also headstrong, so it’s not likely that she would set aside her ambitions without good reason - the last one being the college funds for her siblings. Maki had answered that dilemma with money, and Nico had accepted the contribution just fine after she’d overcome the initial shock. So why couldn’t she use Maki’s bank account to remove her own roadblocks?

Mrs. Yazawa taps her on the arm and Maki snaps out of her thoughts in a daze. 

“You looked like you were thinking pretty hard there. I’ve been trying to give you this dish for a while now.” Mrs. Yazawa chuckles at her.

“Sorry, sorry.” Maki takes the dish and wipes it down. “I think I just want to know why she won’t let me help her. I just want to give her what she wants.”

“I can’t say I know what you’re talking about specifically, but that could be the root of your problem right there. Nico-chan has always been very independent, and nothing was ever handed to her.”

Maki purses her lips, considering the words carefully. She hadn’t thought much about Nico’s independence, and that was something she knew had been important to her since the day they met. Sure, Nico hadn’t shown it in the best of ways, but still.

“You know she always throws herself into what she wants to do and never looks back. If what you say is true and she really has the freedom to do it, then maybe there’s something else on her mind that’s bothering her.”

“So you don’t think it’s me?”

Mrs. Yazawa drains the sink and hands Maki a fresh towel to wipe her hands with. 

“No, I don’t think so. Nico-chan is always happy to talk about you when she comes by. Always smiling so sincerely. I think she secretly enjoys taking care of you.”

Maki sits down at the table. “She’s always smiling about something though. That’s her thing.”

“It’s different when she’s talking about you though. Nico-nii and Nico-chan are two very different personalities. All I have to do is mention you and she lights up like I’ve never seen before.” Mrs. Yazawa makes a flashing motion with her hands. 

Maki can’t fight off the warmth in her cheeks, or the twitch in her lips as her own smile turns up. 

“You’re just like her, Maki-chan. That’s how I know you’ll find your answer when the time is right.”

“Are you sure?” Maki looks up. “I don’t even really know what I’m looking for.”

Mrs. Yazawa leans back against the kitchen counter and crosses her arms. 

“You love her, right?”

“U-um… yeah. I mean, yes, of course I do.” Maki stutters, still not accustomed to being so frank about it.

“Then just keep doing that. You’ll both be fine as long as you don’t forget why you feel the way you do.”

They end on that note, after Maki discovers that Nico sent seven texts in a row that consisted of nothing more than text based emoticons. It’s her cue to leave, or Nico’s cry for attention. Either one.

While the resolution Maki was hoping to find didn’t come around, Mrs. Yazawa’s words of wisdom give her something to think about. Nico had been giving Maki what she could and asking for nothing in return.  _ Of course _ she didn’t just want  _ money. _ Nico isn’t wishing for an easy way out like Maki had been doing for far too long. There’s something deeper there, and Maki is determined to find out what it is.

When the time is right, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realized i forgot this. if anyone feels like donating, here you go: https://www.patreon.com/nidofeathers  
> there are a few small rewards! no writing will be hidden behind a paywall ever, so by all means continue enjoying my work for free.
> 
> if you still feel like contributing to help me compensate my editor etc. but would prefer to do one-time only or at your discretion, i set up a ko-fi too: Ko-fi.com/mrfeather
> 
> thanks everyone!


	3. The Catalyst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi friends, have update. also in case you didn't know, i am writing an AU called The Cure that you might want to take a peek at. it'll be good fun.
> 
> secondly, i have no idea how buildings work but i decided to do a quick thing of nico's apartment. now you know where everything is according to me! alternatively don't look at it if you like the mental image of the apartment that you've already created from reading. http://i.imgur.com/WGwFKHI.png
> 
> i live in something similar but bigger, because all of my idol shit has to fit somewhere. also i did mention in my note for chapter 3 of The Cure, but i'll be at AX this year along with my editor and a bunch of friends who are mostly cosplaying. if you spot me come say hi! day 0 for the aqours live i'll be in full dia oshi gear (will i be the only one? who knows) and i'll have 5 dia nesoberis on my itabag. the following days you can find me as summer uniform nico, incognico (with yohane), and hopefully SIF idolized flower/bouquet nico. i'll be the short one (i am nico's exact height. yay).

On a particularly warm day, Maki finds herself stuck at home with nothing to do yet again. This time, though, Rin is there with her. Unfortunately, Rin doesn’t have much to do either because Hanayo is also at work. Besides, Maki knows the real reason she came over is the air conditioning because they’ve barely said two words to each other in an hour.

 It _is_ nice to have the company though, and so while Maki browses the internet in the kitchen, Rin lies on the floor half-awake, mumbling something about work.

 Disturbance comes in the form of an unexpected phone call from Nozomi. Very unexpected.

 “Good morning, Maki-chan!”

 Maki grunts and looks at the clock. “It’s half past noon, Nozomi.”

 “So it is! Anyway, I figured you might like to know that Nicocchi is in the hospital-”

 “What?!” Maki yells back at her. Her fingers start shaking and her hand uncontrollably spasms, phone dropping to the floor with a thunk. She scrambles for it but only manages to kick it towards Rin, who is now definitely more awake than she’d prefer to be.

 Rin beats Maki to her phone, but Maki collapses down beside Rin and yanks it back to her ear. Rin automatically follows it until they’re both leaning in to listen.

 “Are you okay, Maki-chan? Sounds like you’ve had quite the fall just now.”

 “I’m fine! Nozomi, what happened?! Is Nico-chan okay? Nozomi, _please_ -”

 “Nicocchi is fine, just a little banged up. Here, listen.”

 There’s a shuffle for a moment, followed by very loud, increasingly colourful language that was definitely coming from someone who sounded like Nico.

 Another quiet shuffle, and Nozomi’s back on the line. 

 “See? She’s fine. I think she’s learned some new vocabulary though. I know _I_ certainly have.”

 “Where?” Maki manages, voice barely a whisper. Swallowing hurts, and she’s only vaguely aware of Rin’s presence, also intently listening in.

 “Not Nishikino General. The campus one.”

 She finds it nice that she doesn’t have to go to the hospital bearing her name, but the relief she otherwise should be feeling was still being stamped out by her momentary panic. Sure, Nozomi said she was okay, but Nico wasn’t really okay until Maki decided she was. She has to know everything and she has to get there now.

 She hangs up without saying anything else to Nozomi and calls for a taxi, racing around the apartment collecting her bag and her keys and other important items. Rin just watches her from her seat on the floor, much less worried and thoroughly entertained. At least, until Maki nearly trips over her. Only then does Rin get up and move to stand against the wall by the door.

 Maki flings the door open and, seeing the taxi already there waiting for her, throws herself outside with her satchel half on and her heart still pounding.

 “Maki-chan, wait!” Rin calls after her. But there’s no time - whatever Rin has to say can wait until she gets back. The entirety of life can wait, if she needs it to.

 Rin remains at the door with a concerned look on her face. “But you forgot…”

 She drifts off as she watches Maki leap into the back seat and slam the door. On the floor by the doorway are Maki’s shoes.

 Rin shrugs and heads back inside to lie down again.

 

\---

 

The doors to the emergency wing of the hospital fly open as Maki hurls herself down the hallway, bare feet slapping against the linoleum floors. 

 She nearly runs into the counter and all the staff behind it stop to look at her like she’s crazy. She barely even lets herself catch a breath before trying to utter Nico’s name.

 “Y-Yazawa.” Maki gasps with shaky breath. “I-is Nico Yazawa here?”

 The woman at the computer gives her a look, but starts typing regardless, the other staff continuing on with whatever they’re doing. Maki’s mind is still racing. What if it’s terminal? Maki doesn’t really know what happened to Nico that could even be terminal to begin with, but nothing can stop her from considering it.

“Idiot,” Maki whispers to herself, grabbing a fistful of her own hair. “You sound like an idiot...”

 The lady behind the desk eyes her again and continues typing. The few seconds it takes for her to look up the room number are agonizing - she just wants to _go_ already. How long could it possibly take to type in a name? Maki’s foot starts tapping the floor and she tries to focus on reading the health-related posters she’s seen time and time again while visiting the hospital during her school hours for whatever reason. The ticking of the clock hanging in the corner over the waiting area makes her ears start to ring, and her gaze drifts to the hand sanitizer bottle hanging on the wall next to the emergency wing door. There’s nothing else for her to listen to, and the TV across from the chairs is off. The lights are definitely too bright.

 “She’s in room seven.” The woman behind the desk summarizes.

 Maki is about to make her escape when the woman holds up a finger. 

 “Sorry miss, I can’t just let you go wherever you like. You’ll have to apply for a visitor pass first, It’ll just take a moment. Are you family?”

 Maki blinks, finally remembering how hospitals work. “No. But Nozomi-”

 “Is right here.” Nozomi interjects, from where she’s just emerged from the washroom. 

 The woman nods. “Your friend here was Miss Yazawa’s emergency contact; she was only in the room with her momentarily. I’m sorry, but I can’t allow any non-family members in to see her at this time. You’ll have to wait until she’s moved out of emergency.”

 Maki slams her fist on the counter in frustration.

 “I’m a student here,” she snaps, “Maki Nishikino, you can look me up.”

 “Sorry, Miss Nishikino, you’ll have to wait out here with Miss Tojo.”

 Maki turns around to look at Nozomi as if she’ll magically have a solution. Nozomi is just standing there smiling - absolutely ridiculous. How is Nozomi not worried? Doesn’t she want to be in there too?

 “ _Please.”_ Maki begs, mindful of how loud she’s attempting not to be. “She’s my girlfriend. That’s almost like family, right?”

 The woman shakes her head sympathetically. “There’s nothing I can do, and you should know that.”

 Maki feels like she’s about to do something drastic that may or may not get her kicked out when she feels a hand settle on her back.

 “Maki-chan, you beat me here. Shall we go visit my daughter together?”

 Maki glances behind her, only to be met with the soft and slightly concerned gaze of Mrs. Yazawa. 

 “She can come with me, right?” Mrs. Yazawa asks.

 The woman sighs and rubs her temple. “The two of you, and nobody else.”

 Maki tries not to run now that Mrs. Yazawa is there, instead walking carefully alongside her after the appropriate paperwork is completed.

 Mrs. Yazawa is still in her smart business attire, so she must have come directly from work, whereas Maki is somewhat underdressed for the occasion, having been lounging in light summerwear and the shorts she’d slept in the night before. They round the next corner, following the numbers on the doors, until they hit seven and Maki’s palms begin to sweat. 

 Mrs. Yazawa knocks.

 “Who is it?” Nico’s muffled voice travels through the door. Mrs. Yazawa pushes forward and opens the door.

 Nico is there upright in the hospital bed struggling to work the TV remote with her left hand, on account of a solid pink cast immobilizing her right forearm and most of her right hand.

 “Nico-chan?” Maki gasps finally.

 Nico snaps her head to look at her, grinning from ear to ear. “Maki-chan! I knew you’d come, and so fast too. I…”

 Nico trails off as her line of sight drifts down towards Maki’s bare feet. Oh.

 “Perhaps too fast?” Mrs. Yazawa offers.

 Maki turns red in the face but stalks toward the bed nonetheless, leaning over and throwing her arms tightly around Nico.

 “Hey hey, careful. This thing still hurts.”

 Maki steps back immediately and looks down at Nico’s arm, currently resting in her lap. Her other hand is still grasping the TV remote uselessly. 

 “What happened?” Mrs. Yazawa voices Maki’s thought for her.

 Nico looks sheepish for a moment, the tips of her fingers peeking out from the plaster flexing a little. “Just an accident at work. Nothing to worry about.”

 “You’re in the hospital, Nico-chan.” Maki says flatly. “I was…”  
“Worried?” Nico butts in. “About little old me? You should know there’s no need to worry about the number one-”

 Maki smacks her shoulder.

 “Ow!”

 “ _Nico-chan!_ I was seriously scared! Nozomi called and didn’t even tell me what happened to you; she just said you were in the hospital!”

 Nico glares at her. “Did you think to _ask_ her, or did you just throw the phone down and run out the door like a maniac the second you heard?”

 Maki crosses her arms and gives Nico a glare of her own. “I did _not_ throw the phone down. I was perfectly calm.”

 “Is that why you have no shoes on?”

 “Just tell me what happened!”

 Nico sighs and lets go of the remote. She looks around a little, as if she’s preparing to share her deepest, darkest secret with Maki. Maki leans in, tempted to hit Nico over the back of the head for making her worry so much. Even if it really was Maki’s fault in the end.

 “I fell off a step ladder.”

 “What?”

 "I fell. Off a step ladder.” Nico repeats, completely deadpan.

 Maki looks at her, torn between making a joke out of the explanation and demanding to know the nitty gritty details. She eyes Nico expectantly.

 Nico groans and rolls her eyes. “Fiiiiine. I couldn’t reach the dustpan down from the shelf so I had to get the steps, and when I got to the top I lost my balance and fell, and now I have a fractured wrist. The end.”

 “How far did you fall?” Maki persists.

 Nico blushes. “Uh, like a metre. Maybe half. Um…”

 Maki turns around and walks towards the chair across from the bed, not so much sitting as falling into it.

 “Only you.” Maki mutters. “Only you…”

 Nico huffs and attempts to cross her arms, momentarily forgetting that she can’t. Mrs. Yazawa looks between them, happy all the same. “How long will it take to heal?”

 “Dr. Nishikino?” Nico quips while inspecting her arm.

 Maki sighs and rubs at her forehead, missing Nico’s sarcasm entirely. “Did they mention what kind of fracture it is?”

 Nico gives her an awkward half-shrug, mindful of her injury. “Dunno. Something that starts with a ‘B’.”

 “Buckle?”

 “Yeah, that thing.”

 Maki sits up in her seat and leans forward, resting her hands on her knees. “Three weeks, give or take.”

 Nico’s mouth twitches into a smile as if realization has finally dawned on her. “Three weeks, you say? Three weeks where Nico can’t do anything?”

 “I wouldn’t say you can’t do anything,” the doctor says as he appears in the doorway, “just don’t do anything to disturb the cast and you’ll be right as rain. No vigorous activity; try to relax as much as you can.”

 “No vigorous activity?” Nico smirks. “I’m not sure if Maki-chan will last that long.”

 Mrs. Yazawa snickers and turns away, but Maki doesn’t follow.

 “Why would that have anything to do with me?”

 Nico’s face falls flat. “Never mind. You’ll get the joke later.”

 The doctor just shakes his head and scribbles something on his clipboard. “Outside of the fracture, you’re fine, so no need for you to stay. If you feel you need to, then we’ll have to move you out of emergency.”

 “Nah, I’m good. Let’s get out of here; it smells like old people.”

 Maki stands from the chair, flexing her toes. “Do you listen to yourself when you talk?”

 “You definitely don’t.”

 “ _Girls_ ,” Mrs. Yazawa interrupts, “we should really get going before you disturb everyone on this floor.”

 The doctor takes his leave along with Mrs. Yazawa, Maki staying behind to help Nico change out of her hospital gown.

 They leave the hospital in the warmth of the early evening, Maki fairly certain that nothing could have possibly gone worse (outside of the laundry list of things that _could_ have, but Maki chooses to pretend those thoughts never crossed her mind to begin with). The feeling only intensifies as she struggles to walk down the hot sidewalk without shoes on. Nozomi waves them off, and heads in the opposite direction.

 

\---

 

“So why is Nozomi your emergency contact?” Maki asks Nico as they walk up the outside stairs to their apartment.

 “I just never changed it after we graduated. It was easier because she could always answer the phone and my mom couldn’t.”

 “You should change it,” Maki demands as she fishes through her bag for the keys.

 Nico nudges her side with her hip. “Ooh, is Maki-chan jealous?”

 “It would be nice if you took my concern seriously.”

 “You’re such a grump today, Maki-chan.”

 Maki stops digging, eyes flicking up to look at Nico. She gives her the strongest disapproving frown she can muster, then sticks her hand out and pokes Nico directly in the forehead. 

 “Ow, seriously?!”

 Maki ignores her and moves to unlock the door, only to discover it wasn’t even locked to begin with. They barely make it inside when Rin nearly barrels Maki over with the force of her hug.

 “Maki-chan is back!” Rin shouts happily. “And Nico-chan!”

 Maki stumbles, trying her best to pry Rin off of herself. “Rin, get down! Bad Rin!”

 Rin lets go, but only because a flash of pink catches her eye. “Woah, Nico-chan, did you break your arm? Rin broke her arm once a long time ago too, it was awful…” she trails off sadly.

 Maki shakes her head, completely forgotten in favour of the injury. “Why did I tell them to move here?” She mutters to herself.

 Nico grabs Rin’s arm and brings her further inside so they can close the door. “It’s not broken, don’t worry.”

 “Good! Oh oh, Rin wants to sign Nico’s cast first! Can I?” She turns to Maki as if asking for permission. Maki decides not to reply, looking towards the cup of writing utensils on the counter instead. 

 “Yesss!” Rin cheers, skipping over to the cup and selecting a thick black pen. Nico takes a seat on the floor with her arm held out to the side, and Rin gets to work.

 As soon as Maki sits down, there’s a knock at the door. Nico and Rin don’t move, so Maki reluctantly gets back up. There’s another sharp knock, followed by three more, and before Maki is even across the living room the buzzer goes crazy. 

 Maki yanks the door open, ready to give the person on the other side a piece of her mind.

 “Wha- H-Honoka?”

 Honoka shoves her aside, Maki’s hip connecting painfully with the doorknob.

 “Nico-chan, you’ll never believe this! We need your help _right away_.”

 “Wow, okay.” Maki says with her hands raised. “I guess I’ll just pretend I’m not here right now.”

 Nico jerks away to show Honoka her arm before the girl can crash into her. The movement disturbs Rin who is still diligently drawing away, and she gasps as a line of dark marker cuts directly through the face of her cat.

 “Honoka, calm down!” Nico yells at her as she collapses to the floor. “You’re gonna have a heart attack!”

 “I ran all the way here!” Honoka continues to yell. “It’s an emergency!”

 “Nico-chan, I’ve changed my mind. I want to move.” Maki grumbles as she drags her feet past everyone, retreating back into the kitchen. It’s not much of an actual retreat, being directly connected to the living room and all, but Maki doesn’t feel comfortable leaving them all alone in a room together.

 Nico takes hold of one of Honoka’s shoulders. “Honoka. Explain.”

 “A-RISE is breaking up!” 

 “What?!” Nico shrieks, eyes wide and hands balling into fists. One hand, anyway. 

 Maki plugs her ears as best she can.

 “Yeah, it’s great!” Honoka continues, smiling suddenly. She claps her hands together and looks expectantly between Nico and Rin.

 Nico is at a loss. “Uhh… what?”

 “Rin is… confused, nya…”

 Honoka rights herself, pulling her legs in until she’s kneeling comfortably on a pillow. 

 “A-RISE is splitting up because Tsubasa-chan was offered a solo position with the same agency. So that’s good! But now Erena and Anju are only two people, and that’s bad.”

 “Was this a mutual thing?” Nico asks, still in disbelief.

 Honoka nods. “They were really happy for her and encouraged her to go for it; she didn’t even want to at first. Becoming a solo idol is a big thing and Tsubasa-chan didn’t want to keep going without them, but we all talked and decided it’s something she has to do.”

 “But what about Erena and Anju, nya? What will they do?”

 Honoka gives them both a determined look. “They’ll still be A-RISE, as a two-person unit.. Anju is costuming and choreography, Erena can write the lyrics, but… now they don’t have-”

 “A composer!” Rin shouts excitedly.

 “Exactly! Tsubasa-chan wrote all their music, and you can’t just replace someone as good as her that easy.” Honoka goes on.

 Nico, still mildly stunned at what she’s hearing, urges Honoka to go on. “So what are they going to do? Do they need a third member? Is it me?”

 “Nope,” Honoka says, oblivious to Nico’s expression souring beside her, “they’re fine with two people and Tsubasa-chan has a whole team to do things for her now. They don’t need a third member, they just need someone to make the music.”

 Nico huffs. “So why’d you come looking for me? I can’t do any of that stuff, not like Ma...ki…”

 All three of them slowly look upwards at said girl, who has her headphones in as she zones out on Nico’s laptop. They trade glances, each of them looking more concerned than the last. Nico already knows that what Honoka is suggesting is impossible.

 “Ask her yourself,” Nico hisses quietly to Honoka, “I don’t feel like pissing her off anytime soon.”

 “Why are you whispering?” Rin asks plainly. “She can’t even hear us.”

 “Nico-chan, if anyone can convince her to try it then you can!” Honoka persists.

 Nico looks up at Maki again for a moment, and then back at her friends. “I’ve been trying to convince her for like two years. There’s no way she’ll say yes, especially since she still has to go back to school in the fall. Why don’t you put an ad out or something?”

 “But Nico-chaaaan,” Honoka whines, “they asked _specifically_ for Maki-chan, and I can’t let them down!”

 “Don’t guilt trip me!” Nico shouts at her. “And stop whining, that’s my thing.”

 “Rin agrees with Nico-chan, Maki-chan is scary when she gets mad. She’ll never do it.”

 Nico nods resolutely. “See, even Rin knows.”

 Honoka turns her attention to Rin. “Are you just agreeing with Nico-chan because she threatened to tell everyone about your new job-”

 Rin pushes her hands into Honoka’s face and yells incoherently. “Nyaaaa, don’t say it! Nobody is supposed to know!”

 “Everyone’s gonna know sooner or later.” Nico says, matter-of-factly.

 “Let’s keep talking about Maki-chan, nyaaa…”

 “Let’s _not._ Look, Honoka,” Nico begins, “I’m glad they thought to ask Maki-chan first, we all know she’s the best at what she does. But I already know what she’s gonna say, and you do too. I don’t want to get my hopes up that she’ll try again, not like before.”

 “But-”

 “On top of that,” Nico adds, pointing to her arm, “She’s already stressed enough about this, and I haven’t even told her about all the work she’s gonna have to do around here now that I can’t help out. This is the worst possible time for you to ask this!”

 Honoka waves her hands. “I’m sorry! They really need help though, they have a concert scheduled at the end of the summer.”

 “So they can cancel it.”

 “But Nico-chan, you love A-RISE! Don’t you just want to _try_?”

 Nico sighs and awkwardly gets to her feet. “I do love them, and I still admire them no matter what they choose to do, but what Maki-chan wants is more important. Even if it’s not what I agree with...” Nico finishes quietly.

 Honoka looks down at her lap, nothing left to say. “Alright, if that’s what you think. At least Umi-chan agreed to help them… I’m sure we’ll come up with something.”

 Honoka rises from the floor, straightening her shorts out. “But if you think Maki-chan might change her mind, let me know right away, okay?”

 Nico’s eyes travel across the room until they land on her girlfriend again, still oblivious to the conversation. “I’ll tell you if it happens, alright?”

 Honoka nods, satisfied with her answer. 

 Nico shows her out, along with Rin, who has finally remembered that she has her own place to go home to a few floors up. 

 Maki pulls her headphones out and looks up just as Nico turns away from the door. They hold each other’s gaze for a few seconds before Nico looks away. 

 “You heard all that, didn’t you?”

 Maki nods. She hadn’t been listening to anything on her headphones to begin with, and it had been a struggle not to speak up. In a surprising turn of events, Nico had held Maki’s ground in her stead despite having a conflicting opinion about Maki’s aversion to making music.

 “I would have said no.” Maki confirms.

 Nico avoids looking at Maki as she walks towards the table, pulling out a chair and sitting across from her. Nico’s cast is propped up on the table, the cat with the line down its face hidden partially by her other arm.

 “Honoka will come up with something,” Nico says. “She always does.”

 “There are plenty of people out there who can write music. It won’t be hard for them to find someone.”

 Nico rests her chin in her good hand. “They did ask for you though. Not many other Makis around that I know of.”

 “They’ll deal. Are you going to mope about it for the rest of the day?”

 “Hey, you know I don’t agree with you about that but I still stood up for you. No need to make me feel bad about it.”

 Maki looks down, swallowing her words. Her lip trembles a bit as she reaches across the table and takes Nico’s good hand in her own. 

 “I know, Nico-chan. I’m sorry, it’s just frustrating and I feel like everyone is still on my back about composing. I’m fine where I am.”

 Nico smiles at her, squeezing her hand. “I know. You don’t have time to worry about that anyway, you have a lot to do now that I’m tapped out for the next few weeks.”

 Maki hums. “At least you finally have a reason to stay home from work. Maybe you’ll find that you don’t really need to keep working so hard. Or at all?”

 Maki hopes she isn’t suggesting that Nico quit at the wrong time, but she can’t help but feel like this may have been a bad moment. Especially when Nico doesn’t react to what she’s said. It just slipped out.

 “Yeah… I guess Princess Nishikino really does get what she wants in the end.” Nico looks away from her again, but continues to hold her hand.

 Maki wants to ask what she means, but she decides she’s better off not knowing. She likes to imagine that by now she can read Nico like an open book, but that would be a lie. Nico is mostly good at keeping anything depressing to herself. Maki can feel it, though; there’s something eating away at Nico, and she’s a little bit scared that she has no idea what it is.

 “Do you want to go lie down?” Maki asks softly.

 Nico can’t hold back her smile despite the mood. “Aww, does Maki-chan wanna cuddle with Nico?”

 “N-no, I mean… I just want to cheer you up. If you want to. I guess.”

 Nico stands up, pulling Maki with her towards the bedroom. A nap could do them both some good, after the unfortunately eventful day they’d had.

 But even as they lie there together, Maki can’t help but feel like she’s missing something. 

 Something about Nico.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had some support on patreon already, which is amazing! if you haven't had a look, feel free to do so here: https://www.patreon.com/nidofeathers
> 
> or check out my ko-fi! Ko-fi.com/mrfeather
> 
> thank ya


	4. Between Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit late, but i've been quite busy the last week or so. enjoy!

It’s only been a few days since Nico was released from the hospital and Maki already wants to lie down and never get up ever again. At the time, she hadn’t fully realized what taking care of Nico would entail. As it so happens, the dominant hand was required when doing things like cleaning, brushing hair, and everything else Nico did on the daily. Untying Nico’s pigtails was easy, but putting them back up… it made Maki want to rip her own hair out and shove Nico’s ribbons where the sun doesn’t shine. Only someone like Nico could be as picky as she was about tying her hair up, and it took over an hour of bickering before she was satisfied enough to let Maki go about her day.

 Currently, said day consists of making something for the both of them to eat. Maki sighs as she opens the fridge and looks over the results of her last shopping trip, which had been heavily managed by Nico over the phone because she was still pissed about the two hundred yen Maki had spent on eggs the last time she’d gone. In her mind, a two yen difference was akin to the end of the world as she knew it.

 So, she had a whiny baby of a girlfriend in the next room who insisted on being pampered, a fridge that was absolutely bursting with ingredients ready to be made into a delicious meal, and a complete lack of any culinary awareness whatsoever. She Looks at the dish cupboard, recalling the horrible stench of burnt fish and Nico’s struggle to lay its remains to rest. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she could hear Rin’s laughter.

 Maki shuts the fridge and wanders around until she finds her wallet. She glances back towards the bedroom and wills Nico to behave for the ten minutes it will take her to go and grab some takeout. This time, she makes sure she puts her shoes on before going outside. Stupid Nico. Stupid hospital.

 She comes back with a box of strawberry pancakes, and Nico is already at the kitchen table looking at her expectantly. 

 Maki sets the takeout box down in front of her and grabs a fork from the drawer, setting it down next to the food.

 “Are you for real, Maki-chan?”

 “You literally told me never to cook anything again.”

 Nico moves to cross her arms, but flinches when her fingers connect with the cast. “Ugh. Well you know, you can make something without actually cooking. Like a sandwich. Or even just cut up some fruit. You can do that, right?”

 Maki just turns around and flicks the tap on to fill the sink. The dishes weren’t going to wash themselves, and she didn’t have time to listen to Nico berating her. 

 “Wow, so cold. Maki-chan is a cruel mistress in the morning.”

 Maki just shrugs, glancing behind herself for a moment to watch Nico open her boxed breakfast. While she really _really_ doesn’t enjoy the idea of doing all the housework herself, she can hardly remain grumpy after watching Nico attempt to do anything with her opposite hand. Nico excels at dropping all kinds of edibles down the front of her shirt, and Maki wants to get as much mileage as she can out of the moment.

 Nico concentrates as she awkwardly picks her fork up with her left hand and jabs at a strawberry. Maki puts down the plate in her hand and watches with a smile. Nico remains unaware that she’s being watched as she manages to land the first bite, triumph spreading across her face as she chews on the sweet fruit. Maki’s vision hones in on the pancake as Nico dives back in, trying and failing to cut it without a knife.

 After a brief scuffle, she manages to rip off a chunk and raises the fork again, only to drop both her food and the utensil down the front of her shirt. There’s a clatter as the metal hits the floor and Nico scowls at the whipped cream trailing down her clothes.

 “Would you like a bib?” Maki quips.

 “You’ve used that one twice already. You really need to be more creative.” Nico retorts, as she struggles to reach under the table for the fork. 

 “Well it’s fitting for you. You’ve just been lying around all day like a baby anyway.”

 “Hey, it takes some real effort to listen to you complain about having to do actual work by yourself. Nico’s ears get tired.”

 Nico finally gets a grasp on the fork and moves to stand, but she doesn’t slide back far enough and the back of her head connects with the corner of the table. 

 “Ouch! Who the hell put this here?!”

 Maki doubles over laughing as Nico drags herself to her feet. The sad bit of pancake drops from the fork to the floor on her way up and she looks at it dejectedly before glaring at Maki.

 “I know you really needed to lighten up, but not at my expense. Don’t you have dishes to do?” Nico waves the fork at her menacingly.

 Maki pauses to catch her breath, hand resting on the counter. “What, not gonna ask me to feed you?”

 “Nico can do it herself! Unlike Maki-chan, who can’t even turn the sink off on her own.”

 “Huh?” Maki’s confusion lasts barely half a second before she feels water flowing under her hand. She whips around and the smile vanishes from her face as she plays witness to an overflowing, dish-filled sink.

“No!” Maki yells as if she’s scolding the tap, lunging forward to turn it off. “Ahhh!”

 Water drips down the front of the cupboards and pools around Maki’s bare feet. She doesn’t know what else to do besides pull at her hair and glare at the offending liquid.

 “Better get cleaning, Maki-chan! Poor Nico can’t-”

 “Shut _up_ , Nico-chan.”

 Maki grumbles to herself as she stalks off to the washroom, returning with an armful of towels. Nico just sits at the table smugly, watching her suffer. Maki didn’t mean to be so sharp about it, but the last few days had been frustrating for her, and Nico’s inherent lack of sympathy for anyone who didn’t know how to put themselves to work was really grinding her gears.

 Maki _did_ know how to do housework (mostly); she just hadn’t had the responsibility of doing it all on her own while Nico asked her for a cup of tea every four minutes. Doing things like this with Nico was relaxing and even fun sometimes, but doing it on her own while Nico pestered her for petty reasons was the exact opposite.

 Not even noon, and she’d already flooded the kitchen.

 “You look like you just ate something nasty. Why’s your face all scrunched up like that?” asks Nico, as Maki peels a soggy paper bill up from the wet counter.

 “Because I’m thinking about you.”

 “Shouldn’t you be smiling then?”

 Maki is tempted to hurl the wet paper lump at Nico’s head. Three weeks of this, interrupted here and there by Nico dropping something and being amusing for five or so minutes. Not Maki’s idea of a good time.

“No.” Maki mutters, trying to convey as much agitation as she can with one word.

 She watches Nico lean back in her chair out of the corner of her eye, a mischievous look on her face. 

 “Quit that.” Maki doesn’t even turn around, instead struggling to reach past the dishes for the sink plug.

 “Quit what?” Nico sounds so innocent, but at the same, provocative. Maki isn’t in the mood to fight but she takes the bait nonetheless.

 “Looking at me like that. You always look at me that way right before you say something stupid.”

 “Stupid? Nico was just going to say, she’s knows why Maki’s been so moody lately.”

 Maki shifts a plate over, finally finding the metallic handle of the plug. “Whatever.”

 “You’re just mad ‘cause we can’t have sex until Nico’s wrist is better.”

 “What?!” Maki’s arm whips out of the water. Unfortunately, she forgets to keep a hold of the plug. Nico ducks as something black and silver narrowly avoids her head and collides with the wall, cracking the paint and hitting the ground with a _thunk_.

 Maki feels her face heating up and she can’t stop a hand from twirling around a thick lock of red hair.

 Nico turns around to survey the damage, eyeing the tiny dent in the wall. 

 “You’re gonna pay to fix that, right?”

 “Ridiculous!”

 “I know you are,” Nico nods. “Maki-chan is so desperate, what did she do before Nico? One of many great mysteries…”

 “I-I don’t, I’m not-”

 Maki struggles to find words, but she’s too embarrassed to really think of anything, even though there’s no reason for her to be. It’s not like anyone is listening to their conversation, unless Rin happens to be hiding in the closet or something. In spite of what she wants to tell herself - that Nico’s deplorable attitude is the _sole_ reason for Maki’s swift decline in temper management - she knows that truly, Nico isn’t completely wrong. Nobody needs to know that though; especially not Nico. She would never live it down.

 “Nico knows how hard it must be to sleep beside someone so unbearably attractive-”

 “You mean me?” Maki interjects, in a poor attempt to derail the topic.

 “You say that as if I’m gonna disagree with you.”

 “Y-yeah, well… I…” Maki stutters, as she realizes she can’t think of anything else to say.

 Nico smiles at her and twirls a finger around a pigtail, mimicking Maki. 

 “Maki-chan gets embarrassed so easily. She’s gonna pull all her hair out one day.”

 Maki forces herself to let go of her hair, firmly pressing it against her side. “I’ll pull all _your_ hair out if you don’t stop saying such stupid things.”

 Nico gives her a blank stare.

 “What, so I can bend you over the desk but the second I-”

“I’m going out, bye.” Maki steps over the towel on the floor and collects her things, pointedly ignoring Nico laughing at her.

It really is silly, but Maki just can’t help her reaction. It’s a cross between legitimately being embarrassed, a dash of mental exhaustion, and the fact that she’d failed to one-up Nico that had her scrambling for a way out. Nico’s way of dealing with being totally lost was much simpler. 

_ I should come up with my own catchphrase _ .

Maki is definitely overreacting and isn’t actually planning to go anywhere, but she spots Nico waving at her now, still grinning.

“Maki-chan needs a day off anyway. Fresh air will do you some good and you’re still soooo lazy.”

 A walk did sound nice. But there was the matter of the sink and pools of water still sitting on the counter; Nico definitely couldn’t clean it up all on her own. She looks at the towels on the floor and moves to put her bag down.

 “No no,” Nico stops her, “I’ll give Rin a call. She’ll be more than willing to help.”

 Maki narrows her eyes. “I don’t really believe you but I don’t think I care anymore.”

 “Good. Go be carefree outside; roll in a field of daisies or something. Don’t come back until you get over yourself.”

 “Look who’s talking.”

 Nico sticks her tongue out and winks. How infuriatingly adorable.

 A smile makes its way across Maki’s face. Nico is really good at doing that, even if she has to come full circle first. 

 Maki waves goodbye and steps out into the sunlight.

 

\---

 

It hasn’t even been fifteen minutes before Maki realizes she doesn’t really have anything to do outside. She sends some texts to her friends, but everyone else is either busy or not replying. Really, she shouldn’t have expected anything else, since she’s the only one currently without any obligations whatsoever. Unless she were to count Nico, but she’d really rather not.

 Her feet takes her first to the shrine, subconsciously searching for familiar purple hair, but she doesn’t recognize anyone there. She wasn’t one for going to arcades on her own, so she doesn’t entertain that idea for very long, and she wasn’t much in the mood for visiting the park either.

 Stopping on a street corner and pondering what to do next, Maki considers just going home. In truth, the stress brought on by the state of her kitchen and an incapacitated Nico had melted away before she’d even gone out the door, thanks to Maki being a sucker for Nico’s cute face. Although, if she were to go back this soon, then Nico would probably pick on her for not getting enough exercise, or bring up that thing about the desk again.

 She didn’t _need_ Nico to fill in all gaps in her schedule; she could totally entertain herself just as efficiently as she used to do before she moved out. She could go read a book or go shopping, or maybe even hunker down at a nice café, sip some tomato juice and just relax for a while.

 Getting something to eat did sound nice, considering she’d neglected to buy anything for herself when she’d gone out to get something for Nico. She resolves to stop at the first place she finds appealing, then sit down and be by herself for a while. Easy.

 Maki internally cringes at herself when she pushes open the door to the cafe Nico works at, because of course she would end up here. At least it isn’t busy.

 “Hi, how can I help you- wait, you’re Maki Nishikino!”

 Maki stares at the girl behind the counter, then looks towards either side of herself as if she was expecting a different Maki Nishikino to have walked in next to her. 

 “Uh yes, that’s me. How do you… do I know you?”

 Maki imagines the girls from her school that had been intimidated by her, yet they’d been quick to fawn over Nico. If she was supposed to recognize Nico’s co-worker, she had no idea where from.

 The girl smiles at her. “No, but everyone who works here knows all about you.”

 “What, like from μ's?”

 Another girl leans half-way out of the entrance to the kitchen. “From Nico-chan. She talks about you all the time.”

 “ _All_ the time.” The girl at the counter emphasizes.

 For some reason, the idea that Nico actually talked about her to anyone had never crossed her mind. It did make sense though, considering how long Nico had held the same job. Of course she would make small talk with her co-workers.

 “Oh. What does she say about me?”

 “What happens in the kitchen stays in the kitchen. But, I can tell you this is Nico’s favourite,” the girl points to a slice of layered crepe cake in the window.

 “Can I buy the entire cake?” Maki asks, before she can stop herself. She didn’t come here to buy Nico a whole cake, but it felt rude not to get something if Nico’s co-worker was going out of her way to mention it. Go big or go home.

 The girls behind the counter trade knowing looks. Maki doesn’t know what they know though, so she doesn’t say anything as they ring up her unintentional purchase.

 One swipe of her credit card later and Maki is halfway out the door, having done nothing of what she intended to do when she arrived. In fact, she’d done the complete opposite.

 “Tell Nico-chan to get well soon!” says one of the girls, waving to her on her way out.

 Maki waves back awkwardly as the door shuts behind her and she finds herself back outside once again, only this time with eight heat-sensitive slices of sugary confection in her possession.

 Now she really did have to go back home so she could shove her cake in the fridge, and Nico would ask her why she bought something so frivolously and Maki would have to admit it was because she couldn’t stop thinking about her, and then Nico’s ego would grow another two sizes and the cake would go bad because of course neither of them were going to finish the entire thing. She should have just stayed home and cleaned, even though everything was already mostly clean because it was all she’d been doing for the past few days.

Maki sighs and looks at the bag of cake in her hand. Well…

 She could always bring it somewhere else. To share.

 She starts walking, still only half-sure that it wouldn’t be totally weird to show up at her girlfriend’s mother’s place in the middle of the day for basically no reason whatsoever. The kids could have the cake, and Maki could take pictures of them eating it and text them to Nico. 

 Luckily, they live closer to Nico’s workplace than Nico herself does, so nothing’s really melted by the time she shows up. Hopefully someone is home, but she supposes if Mrs. Yazawa were out then either herself or Nico would be over to look after the mini-Yazawas anyway.

 Maki knocks, and ponders what to say. “Hey, Nico-chan told me to go outside so I did, and then I bought a cake and now I’m here” didn’t sound intelligent at all. “It’s been three days and I already don’t want to look after Nico-chan anymore, please take her back” would likely come across even worse. She didn’t really want to give Nico back anyway.

 “You look distant, Maki-chan. Something up?”

 Maki blinks her thoughts away and shakes her head at Mrs. Yazawa. Of course nothing is up; what would be up?

 “No, sorry. I just, uh, I have this,” says Maki, holding up the bag from the cafe, “so I brought it here.”

 “I can see that. Any reason why?”

 Maki looks down shyly. “Nico-chan wanted to give me a break. Or, I guess we argued and I’ve been… moody, so I said I was going out. I was kidding but Nico-chan said it would do me some good.”

 Mrs. Yazawa steps back inside, waving her arm to invite Maki in. “She’s probably right. I’m sure she’s behaving exactly as well as anyone expected, but she knows what she’s doing.”

 “It’s annoying, I’ll admit,” says Maki, stepping in and taking her shoes off. “She’s such a diva.”

 Mrs. Yazawa laughs, watching Maki pull the cake out and place it on the table. “Funny, she’s said the same thing about you. Really though, I don’t blame you for feeling that way.”

 “What do you mean when you say she knows what she’s doing?”

 Mrs. Yazawa shrugs. “When you work as hard as she does, you take advantage of being pampered when you can. She’s been that way for as long as I can remember.”

 Maki sighs and sits down. “It’s not that I don’t _want_ to take care of her. I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately, and it’s hard doing everything without her help.”

 “It does add up, doesn’t it?”

 “It just doesn’t stop. And I haven’t had a chance to really talk with Nico-chan about work yet either…”

 Mrs. Yazawa leans back against the counter, observing the dessert Maki purchased.

 “That’s Nico’s favourite, isn’t it? Can’t get her off your mind?”

 “Subconsciously,” Maki nods wearily. “It’s just, when I think about her now, I get worried. I can’t stop thinking about what she’s going to do once she’s better. Is she just going to go back to work forever? How long is she planning on keeping the same job?”

 A silence settles between them as Maki loses herself in thought. It’s different to voice these kinds of things before she really thinks about them, because lately she’s been doing her best to avoid the idea that something might really be up with Nico.

 “You’re doing great so far, you know?”

 Maki looks up, a little lost by the observation.

 “What do you mean?”

 “You doubt yourself too much,” Mrs. Yazawa says. “You should be proud that you’ve come this far.”

 Maki blinks, but she’s still not sure what she’s supposed to be taking from this.

 “I don’t really follow.”

 “I’m just thinking out loud.” Mrs. Yazawa shakes her head and turns around to pull plates down from the cupboard. “It’s more of a general statement. You’ve both accomplished so much, and you’re still here together. I’m sure you know she wouldn’t want you to worry about her.”

 “I just don’t want her to miss any opportunities.” Maki says. And she doesn’t. 

 The part that really bothers Maki, as she’s now only realized, is that the opportunities she wants for Nico are simply not happening. The recent memory of Nico’s face lighting up as Honoka revealed that A-RISE was looking for someone to help them… it probably hurt her more than anyone realized when she was told it wasn’t her who was needed. 

 Nico was just a way for Honoka to get through to Maki, because Maki was stubborn and would readily turn down any request that Nico would otherwise jump at the chance to fulfill. Nico was a doorway to potential success, much like she was when she held absolute control over the School Idol Research Club. Of course that wasn’t all she was, and she had probably been just as eager to try as Honoka even though she didn’t show it in the same way. It seemed as though Nico was always the means, but never the end.

 It wasn’t fair that Nico had been put down in her first year, or that she’d had to let go of her dream when they’d disbanded. She made it - _they_ made it - and now Maki had an opening to take hold of it again when Nico couldn’t.

 Nico doesn’t live in the past though, because every idol worth her salt knows when to push forward, as Maki has learned from her. There’s no time for regrets or dwelling on failure.

 So why was Nico hesitating now? It still didn’t make any sense.

 “I feel like you have an epiphany or two every time you come over here.” Mrs. Yazawa says, handing her a slice of cake on a plate.

 “I just get time to think here. Honoka’s had enough epiphanies for everyone by now.”

 “You should give the deep thinking a rest every once in a while. You don’t want to burn yourself out. You’ve still got more than two weeks before you can truly relax.”

 Maki laughs at that. “It’s a burden I’m willing to bear. I don’t know why she calls me princess; she’s definitely more of one than I am.”

 “I don’t doubt that. You know,” Mrs. Yazawa says, sitting down across from Maki with a plate of her own, “she always used to go on about how she’d have her own driver one day, like you. She wanted to hire a chef and have someone over to clean her room every week.”

 Maki stops a moment to take a bite of the cake. It’s not really her thing, but she can see why Nico likes it so much. It’s basically compressed sugar.

 “Is it strange that I can’t really see her having any of that and being happy? She does all that and more on her own… she doesn’t really talk that kind of thing up anymore.”

 Mrs. Yazawa nods. “Her values have changed just like yours have. You aren’t going to want the same thing your entire life, are you?”

 What a question that is. Nico and her mother sound much too similar, sometimes.

 “Anyway, Maki-chan, while we’re on the topic of drivers, do you have anyone around to teach you?”

 Maki leans back in her chair. “I guess not. I haven’t really thought about it.”

 “One of you should probably learn, and the car _does_ belong to you after all. Just a suggestion.”

 It’s not a bad idea, and it’s not like Maki is too busy to learn or anything. It could be a useful skill to know, even though she’s perfectly fine taking the train. That, or it’s a gateway to chauffeur hell and she’ll spend way too much of her valuable time ferrying Nico all over the place. 

 “Are you offering?” Maki asks her. 

 “If you want. I’m off on Sundays.”

 Maki smiles and nods. The door behind her slams open, and the three younger Yazawa children all rush out to greet her.

 “Why didn’t you _tell us_ she’s here?!” Cocoa shouts, though she quickly loses interest in Maki when she notices the cake. Maki shoves the plate in her direction while also trying to balance Cotarou, who is attempting to climb into her lap. Cocoro sits down in the chair next to Maki and scoots close enough that their chairs touch.

 “I can’t imagine why we didn’t tell you…” Mrs. Yazawa laughs, but Maki isn’t really bothered by the attention. There’s a happy sigh as Mrs. Yazawa plates more of the cake, and Cocoro and Cotarou dig in. Maki fiddles with her phone, bending an arm around Cotarou to take a picture of him eating the dessert.

 She glances at her missed calls before sending the photo to Nico. She has forty-eight messages in her voicemail, and only two of them belong to her girlfriend. The other forty-six are from Honoka, gone unanswered since the day she’d come over to their apartment. Maki rolls her eyes and sends a text to Nico. The reply is instantaneous.

  **Nico-chan: what!!! you ditched me for my little brother?? with cake???? from my own cafe?????**

  **Maki: your loss. Why did you call?**

  **Nico-chan: we’re totally discussing this later. anyway we have a dinner date, why didn’t you answer?**

 A dinner date? Maki doesn’t remember them talking about that. It’s the middle of the day.

  **Maki: Honoka hasn’t left me alone since she came over to beg. My phone is on silent.**

 This time Nico takes her sweet time replying, and Maki frowns as Cotarou drops a piece of cake off his fork. It slides down her leg leaving a trail of sickly sweet pink cream behind.

  **Nico-chan: fair enough**

  **Maki: what are we doing for dinner?**

  **Nico-chan: i wanted to cheer you up so i just set up a double date with team seagull**

  **Maki: who**

  **Nico-chan: umi and kotori, duh. won’t that be fun? you like umi right?**

  **Maki: yes. Don’t you? Why does this sound so weird?**

  **Nico-chan: why do you think it’s weird?? maki-chan doesn’t wanna see her friends?**

  **Maki: i do, i’m just surprised is all. It sounds fun, i’ll come home soon.**

  **Nico-chan: and bring me some cake, you ass**

 Maki giggles to herself, and when she looks away from her phone, Mrs. Yazawa is giving her a knowing smile. 

 “You’ve been summoned?”

 “Nico-chan is jealous. Besides, I want to watch her try to eat this with her left hand.” Maki says, gesturing to the cake.

 “You’re leaving already?!” Cocoa shouts around a full mouth.

 “Maki-chan is very busy looking after your poor sister,” Mrs. Yazawa says, matter-of-factly. “You want her to get better, don’t you?”

 All three of the younger Yazawas nod at the same time, which Maki finds to be equal parts cute and creepy. It takes some coaxing to get Cotarou off her lap, but eventually Maki finds herself walking out the door with a single slice of crepe cake and a smudge of cream on her leg that she forgot to wipe off.

 The heat presses down on her as she wonders what exactly it is that Nico has up her sleeve.

 

\---

 

Nico and Maki arrive to dinner late, Kotori and Umi having both been sitting at a table waiting for them for nearly half an hour.

 Umi gives them her patented stare. “Nice to see you’re both on time. Very considerate.”

 Maki feels Nico shiver next to her.

 “We don’t want to scare them off, Umi-chan,” Kotori pats her on the shoulder, “it’s nice that they’ve made time to come chat, isn’t it?”

 Umi pats Kotori’s hand, and then appropriately turns to Maki for an explanation.

 “Nico-chan insisted she didn’t need help getting dressed. It took her twenty minutes to put a shirt on.” Maki explains, after they sit down.

 “Hey, I did it, didn’t I?”

 “How’s your arm, Nico-chan?” Kotori asks, stepping in to save the conversation before it devolves into bickering too early.

 “It’s fine, just feels gross. Maki-chan flooded the kitchen today.”

 “That’s… interesting?” Umi offers as Maki’s head curls down, forehead touching the table.

 “Honoka-chan said she was worried about you.” Maki feels a tap on her head, and she looks up to see Kotori’s sympathetic gaze. “She said you haven’t been returning her calls?”

 Maki shakes her head and pulls out her phone, showing Kotori the numerous messages she’s been ignoring.

 “I see.” Kotori says flatly.

 It’s then that Maki realizes this is the perfect moment to ask Kotori and Umi to ask Honoka to kindly stop, lest Maki be tempted to throw her phone into a garbage bin. They both know what it’s like to deal with Honoka, and she’s sure Umi, of all people, would be understanding. That, and her stare could wilt flowers - a useful asset in fending off their over-enthusiastic friend.

 “Could you both… y’know, talk to her about this? I’m not changing my mind.”

 Umi looks surprised. “You said no?”

 Maki raises an eyebrow. “Of course. I don’t have time for it and I’m not interested.”

 “I see. Honoka-chan told me you just weren’t sure yet. I thought we could talk about helping Erena and Anju tonight, maybe collaborate…”

 “Umi-chan is helping them out with lyrics,” Kotori explains. “They were only looking for a composer but Umi-chan offered and they were eager for the help.”

 Maki tries to process what exactly she’s getting herself into - or rather, what Nico was apparently trying to get her into. 

 “Composers and lyricists aren’t that hard to find. Don’t professional idols have people to do that for them?” Maki asks.

 “Maki-chan is so inexperienced,” Nico mutters next to her. “But Nico will teach you. A-RISE was the first big name group to graduate from school idol to professional. They got signed before they even left UTX.”

 “I know that.” Maki grumbles.

 “Right, but nobody else had ever done that before. Part of why school idols are so inspiring is because of all the hard work they put into their performance. Making the costumes and writing original stuff, coming up with the choreography - that’s what really sets them apart in the industry. Isn’t it so much more amazing when you know there’s nobody else behind the scenes to do half the work for them?”

 Maki shrugs and looks away. “I guess.”

 “So,” Nico continues, “A-RISE decided to introduce that method into the professional world when they got promoted. It really made them stand out, even though their agent wasn’t so sure they could keep it up. But it worked, and they probably want it to keep working that way. It’s easier to love what you do if you’ve made it yourself. When you put in the time…”

 “It’s rewarding,” Umi concludes. “We all know the feeling. Erena and Anju want to continue the tradition of the school idol work ethic. It’s a good example to set for new students competing in the Love Live.”

 Maki can’t really argue with that, because she _does_ know what it feels like. Endless nights falling asleep at the piano and lying on her bed writing music across the ceiling with her eyes. It was hard work that paid off, until she stopped.

 “I’m sure you’ll have fun and everything, but Nico-chan already explained to Honoka that I’m not available. Tell them, Nico-chan.” Maki nudges her with her arm, but when she looks down she sees that Nico is staring directly into her lap.

 “Nico-chan?”

 Maki looks briefly to Umi and Kotori, unsure about what she should say. Nico had readily leapt to her defense before; why not now?

 Maki leans back and eases an arm around Nico’s waist, pulling her over. Maki is surprised when Nico leans in to rest her head on her shoulder. 

 “I think you should do it.” Nico says quietly, without looking up. 

 Kotori clears her throat with an awkward cough. “Maybe we should talk about something else.”

 “Good idea.” Maki says dryly.

 Nico ignores them both. “Is it really so bad that I think you should? It’s not every day you get an opportunity like this.”

 Opportunity. Maki doesn’t _want_ opportunity. Not like Nico does.

 Not like Nico deserves.

 “Why… don’t you ask if you can help too? You can do choreography and you still have your old sewing machine in the closet.”

 It’s a pathetic attempt to include Nico, but Maki can see what she’s hiding now. There’s hurt in Nico’s voice. Is it because of Maki herself? Or is it because she’s afraid of being left behind again, like she was all those years ago?

 “They asked for _you_ , Maki-chan. You’re special.”

 “And so are you,” Maki replies, squeezing Nico’s side, “so you’re crazy if you think I’d ever do this without you.”

 Nico finally looks up, smiling despite the heavy mood. 

 “It’s not time for Nico to go back yet. Maybe later.”

 It’s always later. 

 “Shall we order something?” Umi asks them, as if they hadn’t just had some kind of moment. 

 Nico lets the topic go in favour of attempting to eat on her own again, but Maki remains rooted in her thoughts. Once again, she felt like she and Nico were back at square one, with no clear path in sight. Honoka was an unfortunate bump in the road, even though she had the best intentions, and Nico clearly still had a few words to say about what Maki planned to do with her life.

 Nico couldn’t convince her, but this could be her chance to convince Nico. She could turn it around and give her the shove she needed to find the spark again. There had to be an end to her excuses at some point, right?

 As Maki listens to Kotori and Nico gossip about the latest fashion trends, Maki resolves that she’s going get Nico onstage again, whether she likes it or not. For now, Nico was determined to avoid the subject.

 But summer is long, and Maki is finally tired of waiting for Nico to make her comeback. She’ll find a way, even if she has to turn the tables herself.


End file.
